Not James Bond

Dear Haiti,

2010-01-18T22:19:00.000-08:00

Two friends. One with you already. One on her way to help.

Please handle with care.

Sincerely,

Bond

Keep the Christmas spirit going

2009-12-28T19:46:00.000-08:00

Recently a friend described a Christmas shopping horror story:

After circling South Center Mall's lot for over half an hour (I didn't ask why she was there; she was upset enough), she finally found a parking space. Seeing a man enter his car and turn on his lights, and then his reverse lights, she waited. And waited. And waited. She wasn't giving up on the prize, even though cars were piling up in line behind her -- other drivers no doubt boring holes into her rear windshield with their eyes. Finally, the slow-poke car began to reverse and my friend began to inch into spot when all of a sudden...

You think I'm going to write that another car took her space, but it's so much worse than that...

The man driving the slow-poke car stopped once again, opened the driver's-side door and emptied a bottle of liquid onto the ground.

Not just any liquid!

But urine. Urine. My friend had patiently waited for this parking space while this man relieved himself in his own, portable, driver's console-ready toilet.

When my friend finally pulled into the space, she says she had to sit for a minute and collect herself. The stress of looking for parking, dealing with people in general and, finally, being unfortunate enough to witness the...less dignified aspects of our neighbors, was a little too much. She wanted to go home and write the whole Christmas thing off.

I empathize. Whether you celebrate Christmas or not, this time of year inflicts pressure to be better than your every day self. To give more, to share more, to make more time for more people. To sing; maybe to wear printed sweaters and scarves. To attend parties and eat food piled with superfluous ingredients. To, inevitably, wind up at the mall. And because this all occurs, usually, in a frenzied rush (because you're doing all of it on top of your usual lifestyle) while so many others are rushing to do the same thing, it's common for us to step on each other's toes. And before we know, we're rushing to honk the horn and curse the person in the car in front of us (all in the name of "Christmas spirit").

As a partial solution, I'm writing to remind myself to remember to give to one person I tend to forget at this time of the year: me.

I need Christmas spirit. Be it evergreen tree related or not. I need the heartwarming benefits of twinkly lights, soft music, good food, warm atmosphere and good company. And so do you. It's the only way to kick the new year off strong.

Here's to starting a new decade with a new approach: Christmas every day.

Xmas keeps on giving

2009-12-26T12:36:00.000-08:00

Thanks, Dad. xoxoxo

How Xmas should be

2009-12-25T11:44:00.001-08:00

A few of the great gifts I received from my AWESOME friends and family this year:

DIY cardboard owl sculpture

Self-explanatory:

Best chocolate bars ever:

Extra battery for my movie camera
(to avoid future embarrassing battery-outages during interviews)

Sexy knitware for make hands toasty

Beautiful bedspread (on backorder)

Delicious homemade plum jam

Air popper!

Map of 1836 New York on a hankercheif (of course)

Merry Christmas to me. (I say that, because no one reads this blog).

Blogs, blogs, blogs

2008-11-17T22:11:00.000-08:00

On the plane ride to Las Vegas (Vegas, baby, Vegas!) this weekend, I read an article in the Atlantic about all things blogs. One section of the piece argued that what sets a "successful" blog apart from others is constant updates. I believe the writer said something along the lines of: "if a blog stops paddling, it will sink."

That got me awash with guilt, being that I blog about once every seven months. Granted, I do not aspire to be a professional blogger. But I think blogs are good for you--like sit ups. Which is probably why I only do them as often as I can guilt myself into it.

Anyway, the second point that hit home for me was that blogs have to be short. People on the internet don't log onto the internet to read 3,000 word diatribes on what I ate for lunch today.

That set me awash again, as I usually compose posts no less long than the average introduction to a thesis. And I usually write about issues and events that really only matter in my very narrow circle of existence.

Anyway, the article made some strong points and has me reevaluating what this outlet should be. So I'm going to try to go in a new, more appealing direction with this blog, starting today.

Hello to myself from Texas

2008-03-24T19:08:00.000-07:00

This weekend I came back to Texas to help my sister (currently pregnant with twins!) get her home and life into some semblance of order. And also just to visit.

Now it's my last night in town, so, without the strength to vacuum one more rug or rearrange one more group of furniture, I'm going to reflect in the form of a blog.

5 Things I notice Seattle has that Houston doesn't:

1) Recycling as a function of society--instead of tourism.

2) Water. With boats on it.
3) People riding bicycles.
4) People moving around outside of cars in general.
5) More than 5 native plant species.

5 Things I know Houston has that Seattle doesn't:

1) Miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles of unobstructed sun. All day long.
2) Neighbors who exclaim proudly: "Girl, I tell you I got a PhD in drunks!:
3) Alligators and basset hounds coexisting in the same general terrain.
4) Gasoline under $3.50 a gallon.
5) Armadillos. (I got tired of thinking of things. That one was Maya's idea.)

Off the bike

2008-03-16T15:41:00.000-07:00

So as soon as my teaching gig at NSCC ended, I stopped riding my bike. Without a place to go, it's really just not a way I enjoy spending my time. It's also a lot harder than I expected it to be. What a wimp. I know. But so be it. In the meantime, I've been staying active in the arts (even if it means sitting) and I've seen lots of great things around the city that I feel like reflecting on here.

First Washington Ensemble Theatre (WET)'s production of Mr. Marmalade blew me away...in more ways than one. I have yet to be disappointed by this troupe. They're smart, edgy, resourceful and damn funny. The comedic timing in this play was flawless--even if the plot didn't always "make sense." Call me crazy, but sometimes art shouldn't make sense. If it did, it wouldn't be art. It would be a pet licensing depot (weird metaphor..must come from my hoping to adopt a dog soon). Highlights from the performance: a dildo that flew out of a suitcase and almost hit me (giving new meaning to the phrase "splash zone" for those folks that like to sit in the front row), a leaf blower used to sweep the stage of its garbage, and a personal assistant in a bowler.

Second, Pacific Northwest Ballet's Director's Choice was a fantastic performance. I'm not a connoisseur of dance, so I really don't know what I'm talking about. But I found this mix of classical poise and weird contemporary chaos really refreshing. Made me want to get into a dance class--just to have a chance to stomp my feet and thrust my head back once in a while. Not something you get away with in the office. Performance highlights: music by Phillip Glass (awesome), shimmery black tights on tight shimmering men, and rad use of veterinary exam tables.

Also, Photography by Mary Randlett at Tacoma Art Museum. What I thought might be passable, sentimental graphs of NW nature scenes ended up being haunting, disembodied ghosts that resemble nature. Many pieces appeared more like block prints than photographs. She does amazing things with black and white photography--and she doesn't do it to sentimentalize. Beautiful scenes of mountains are juxtaposed against stark clear-cuts, reminding me of that ever deepening footprint I leave.

Finally, "Introductions" at the SAM Gallery had a nice collection of works that didn't thrill me--but did intrigue me. And whatever. Being around young artists doing well is always energizing. My favorite: one painter that seemed especially interested in replicating crocodile skins in paint. If only I had $3000 dollars. I would be able to describe it in better detail right now.

On the calendar for this week (before I head out to Houston to visit my pregnant sister): Karaoke Bingo at the neighboring Senior Center. And maybe finally watching No Country for Old Men, which has been sitting in its Netflix sleeve on my coffee table for a week. Not everything can be high art.

Still on Track

2008-01-22T20:51:00.000-08:00

Six days of biking and I haven't quit yet!

Not too much progress to report, except that I've started to cut through an elementary school parking lot to avoid one of the more nervous-making intersections.

That's where I met my new friends, the Chiefs (Joseph and Seattle to be precise).

I believe that they keep an eye on me: remind me to be humble in the face of steep hills and cautious around icy storm drains. Oh, and to remember that there are far worse things than looking dorky in a helmet.

Day 2

2008-01-16T22:17:00.000-08:00

Biked to school again today.

Did not bike yesterday, as school was closed due to ice.

Was passed, on the big hill on my way home, by a cyclist who did not have to pause for a second.

I paused once and tried again--resolving to make my way up the hill in spurts. But soon hopped off and pushed the rest of the way.

While it's just as much exercise pushing your bike up a hill when you have no capacity for inhaling air into your lungs as it is--I imagine--biking all the way up....it still feels like quitting. Exchanging the necessary pain of real life...for a little bit more boring life.

Beginning to feel like there is a distinct reason why some people are cyclists and some people aren't. And there's no method of progress from one way of being to the other.

You are or you aren't.

As Yoda said: "There is no try."

First Day of School

2008-01-14T20:31:00.000-08:00

I'm very proud to write that I did not chicken out today. I rode my bike to school--pant leg tucked into my sock and all--despite the rain, and despite the fact that I really have no idea how to ride around cars properly. I'm pretty sure that I'm breaking laws regularly. Not to mention shifting gears wrong.

On the way home I had to walk my bike up the big hill again. Actually, I had to stop on the sidewalk, catch my breath for a few minutes and then push my bike up the hill. These freaks who glide across Seattle on their bikes in all the hairiest kinds of weather are making it look way too easy. In fact, I think they're doing a disservice to the world. If more people saw more people like me--panting so loud it sounds like I'm having a seizure, and stopping at the bottom of hills to rest my head on my handlebars--they might be more inclined to give it a try. That way, it wouldn't be so embarrassing to be out of shape and poorly coordinated at stop signs.

In my ideal world, every person in a car stops to high five me when I'm on my 'curb leaning break'--and slows to cheer me on when I'm tackling a hill.

In the real word, unfortunately, they just drive awkwardly around me and stare as if I were (instead of peddling with my legs) emitting blue smoke from my ass to propel myself forward.

The Test Drive

2008-01-13T22:39:00.000-08:00

Date: Sunday, January 13th

Destination: North Seattle Community College

Purpose of Trip: determine how long it will take me to commute to 9:00 a.m. class on my bike; enjoy beautiful sunny weather

Distance: 1.3 miles

Time taken to destination: approximately 10 minutes

Time taken to return (by exact same route): approximately 30 minutes

Equipment carried: backwards fanny pack, water bottle, cell phone, inhaler

Hills that forced me to dismount and push my bike: 1

Friendly nods from other riders: 1

Awkward situations where cars too polite to pass me pressured me by driving really slow behind me: 2

Badly operated gear shifts, where I thought the chain was going to fall off: 2

Time taken to catch my breath once I was back on m couch, safe with Futurama and chicken noodle soup: 20 minutes

New Year: New Danger

2008-01-12T13:01:00.000-08:00

As of today, I am officially declaring--on the internet, because it's a hair more public than declaring to myself in the mirror--that my New Year's resolution is to become comfortable enough on a bike that I can commute to my teaching job at North Seattle Community College.

Moons ago, a former roommate of mine, who is currently traveling the world, told me I could have her bike, which was stored in an outdoor closet underneath our front porch. I enthusiastically accepted, making huge plans to learn how to ride it right away and buy my very own reusable water container to snap into the water bottle holder on the bike's frame.

Over a year later, the bike had not budged from the storage closet underneath the porch. I hadn't even gone down to look at it. I hadn't even resolved to get my own copy of the storage closet key.

Finally, 4 months after I moved out of that house, my former landlord (a very nice man) called to tell me he was cleaning out aforementioned storage closet and asked if there was anything I wanted to claim from it. Although I hadn't thought of the bike in months--I suddenly howled, with the abandon of a woman who had left her purse on a bus departing from the station, "MY BIKE!"

And now, almost two years after I received the bike, I have mustered the courage--or desire for self-punishment--to ride it. Because, damnit, I should get more exercise and do my part to not destroy our planet more than is absolutely necessary. No matter how many times I have to get off and walk it up a hill, facing the smirks of more experienced riders passing me by.

To help me keep my promise to myself, I will document my rides here. Not only will this force me to confront how frequently (or not) I am riding, but also, hopefully, will help me to measure my progress in developing physical endurance, increased hours between inhaler hits, and less 'titty-babyness' when it comes to riding around slightly busy streets.

Starting now.

Today, I rode to my local library branch to return a few books I forgot I borrowed before the holidays. Apparently I owe the library $85 in "lost" fees, which is silly since I know I didn't lose them...

Anyway, according to my Google Maps search, the route I took was approximately 0.5 miles. I rode for around 15 minutes round trip. I stopped once to hit my inhaler and catch my breath.

I got up the hill, on top of which the library sits, without having to walk my bike. Although, it was close.

I did not get all the way back up the hill to my apartment. And after I sat for 20 minutes and caught my breath again, I noticed I could feel my elbows.

she's gone orange

2007-09-03T17:48:00.000-07:00

Here are facts about orange according to Wikipedia:

"The first recorded use of orange as a colour name in English was in 1512, in the court of King Henry VIII. Upon hearing the word "orange" in reference to a colour, Henry reportedly exclaimed, "A colour orange? Why, 'tis the noblest divine gift I have witnessed. You, fine sir, are to be my successor!"" "Burnt Orange was popular in interior design in the 1970s." "In the United States, orange regalia is associated with the field of engineering." "In the metaphysics of the New Age Prophetess, Alice A. Bailey, in her system called the Seven Rays which classifies humans into seven different metaphysical personality types, the fifth ray of concrete science is represented by the colour orange. People who have this metaphysical personality type are said to be on the Orange Ray." "Psychics who claim to be able to observe the aura with their third eye report that an orange aura is associated with intellectual ambition." "Orange was the rallying colour of the 2004 – 2005 Orange Revolution in Ukraine and has thus become a colour symbolising opposition to tyranny around the world." "Orange also may sometimes be symbolic of the political concept of democratic socialism, as it is related to socialist red, but is not red." "The colour orange is often used for visibility enhancement." "Orange is the colour of the ball in Snooker Plus with an 8-point value." "The U.S. Department of Homeland Security's code orange on its terror threat scale represents a high risk, second highest to severe." "Deluxe International orange is the colour of the paint on San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge" "Orange is associated with Thursday on the Thai solar calendar. Anyone may wear orange on Thursdays and anyone born on a Thursday may adopt orange as their colour."

Orange was the color of my first pair of Doc Martens. It was the color I wanted to dye my hair the first time I saw The Fifth Element. It's the color that is currently crusted over my toenails and my living room walls.

It looks great.

It's the first thing this week that my boyfriend and new roommate, Greg, and I have agreed on. Let's hope we last as long as--or longer--than the paint job.